The teacher becomes the student

As a Clinical Hypnotherapist, I have always had a deep belief in the benefits of using hypnosis. I feel that for me to be the best Hypnotherapist for my clients I need to experience everything that I preach and teach.
However I had never had a baby; that is until Saturday May 3, 2014, when my son Flynn was born.

Minutes after birth

I waited a really long time to get pregnant, even though I teach HypnoBirthing, and am so excited for everybody when they become pregnant, I just didn't know if it was something I wanted to do. I really wanted to make sure I was ready, emotional, mentally and financially before having a baby, and that took until I was in my late thirties.

I was able to get pregnant easily and it was going smooth and easy, life was good. That is until January 11, 2014, when my mother had a heart attack in front of me. We were alone when she collapsed, which was terrifying to deal with. Later that day at the hospital my mothers heart ruptured suddenly, which is very rare and fatal. My sister Nicole and I were both with her in those final moments and even though she had a breathing tube in she was awake and aware, so we were able to tell her we loved her.

Flynn Francis

This was one of the most stressful situations a person can go through but to be 5 months pregnant was not ideal. I was very concerned about the amount of stress I was under and how that might effect my baby and his birth.
So this is when I needed to walk the talk! I needed to use as much of those relaxation techniques that I teach, and do a ton of self hypnosis, to reduce my stress levels.
The rest of my pregnancy was fine and the grief process became a bit easier with each passing week and month.

My birth was very quick and intense, I went to bed around 11pm on the Friday, having lots of practice labour, which was mild and I fell asleep. I woke up a couple hours later having a really strong surge, which I needed to sit up for and breath very slowly and deeply. Then I just laid back down and went to sleep again. I had one of these every 30 mins or so but just kept sleeping when I wasn't having one.
I got up around 4am and ran a bath, to help me relax a bit more, I had a few more of the stronger surges but again fell asleep while in the tub. I got out of the tub around 5am, and woke up my husband.
He wanted to know if he should call the midwife, but I said no I wasn't sure I was in labour yet.
So I got on the bed on all fours and rode out the surges breathing, breathing and more breathing. I timed them and said call Carly(midwife). She arrived around 6am and my surges where 2-3 mins apart and lasting for over a minute. My husband got the birthing tub ready and by 7am I was in it. At 8:30am I was doing involuntary pushing, so Carly checked me and I was fully dilated. I was very excited because I wouldn't let Carly check me when she arrived, cause I just didn't want to get caught up in the numbers game. I remember looking at my husband and saying high five!!!!!!!
I stayed in the tub for about another hour pushing and nothing was happening so we moved me to the bedroom.

Flynn 3 weeks old

Carly checked and my membranes  (water) had not broken yet and was bulging ahead of the baby, so we ruptured the sac. It felt good when that happened, but there was meconium, in the fluid. The midwives decided to call an ambulance was called as baby just in case there was any concerns with the meconium. Normally we would just get in the car and drive to the hospital but baby was on his way out. I continued to push, while the EMTs were present and the decision was made to transfer me to the hospital because my baby's heart rate was low. Before we even left the house I managed to push him all the way down into my vaginal space and Carly could see the top of his, head. We arrived at the hospital and within minutes he was pulled out of my with forceps. This was not my ideal situation but his health was the most important thing. Besides I ended up having a 99% home birth and 1% hospital birth.

Some people have referred to my birth as tramatic because of the forceps, but I don't view it that way at all. I look at my birth as a wonderful experience, we just had 15 minutes at the very end that weren't fantastic.
My little boy was  born at 11:31am, safe and healthy. We named him Flynn Francis, the Francis is after my Mother Frances (Fran).
I missed my mother immensely during my birthing and since as well, in those moments when you need your mom.
The love I have for my son is the so deep and intense it is almost scary. I know now that if my mother loved me half as much as I love my son, then I was truly loved by my mother. It is sad that I had to learn this just months after my she died.